This Is My New Jersey

New Jersey often stands alone. We are a snarky, tough group. We don’t care what other people say… or do.

And now we stand alone again. Oregon gave into pressure and repealed its ban on self-pumping gas. That beautiful option is all ours now.

Last year politicians actually tried to get the ban on self-service repealed. I immediately began writing letters to every politician in Trenton telling them what a terrible idea this is. Allow me to tell you why.

Many gas station companies claim switching to self-serve will lower prices. Have you ever needed gas in New York? How about Pennsylvania? Those two states (who have been self-serve for a long time) regularly have some of the highest prices in the nation. The first time I traveled to Chicago on business, I almost choked when I saw the prices at the local station.

Gas station owners claim they will still have people on hand to pump gas if you would like full-serve. Does anyone really believe that? Our inner Jersey cynic should be saying “that’s a hard no.”

Finally, we are told it will be “more convenient.” To whom exactly? It will certainly be more convenient for those who own gas stations – in their tax filings since those jobs will immediately be eliminated.

Let me paint a picture for you. It’s February. It’s snowing. It’s 15 degrees. You need to get gas. You pull up to the pump to fill up – or get our usual – $20, regular, cash. Unfortunately, there’s no attendant, because, well, even though the full-serve option is still an option, the station owner eliminated that job. So you trudge inside, give your pump number, pay, head back outside, fight with the machine, and finally pump your gas. Your hands are now frozen to the pump.

Here’s another scenario. It’s July and we are in the middle of a typical summer downpour. Again, the attendant was fired, so you get to head inside to pay. While you are inside, someone steals your car. If you have been watching the local news, you realize this is now a common occurance.

My final example is the single mom heading home after picking the little one up to day care. She stops to get gas. Again, no attendant, so she heads inside. Meanwhile, someone sees the child locked in the car, calls 911, breaks the window to get out the child they believe is sweltering in the heat. The police call DYFS and mom loses custody of their child.

OK, so maybe the last one is a bit of an exaggeration, but you get my point.

If you ask me, the only self-serve option would only benefit one group – the gas station owners. They get to eliminate jobs.

There are some who think “why would you go inside to pay? Gas pumps take credit cards. Just charge it!” Guess where the most credit card fraud takes place? Yup, you guessed it – gas stations.

So don’t let them fool you. This is a terrible idea. And remember girls – we don’t pump our own gas.